In response to the Federal No Child Left Behind Act, students will have to pass the test to be promoted to the next grade level. In the hopes that it will be uniformly adopted by all the states, thus illuminating Texas to a glorious front runner position in education,  it will be called: the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test (FART).

All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be  retested in grades 3-5 until such a time as they are capable of  achieving a FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English  program, the Special Means Elective for Learning Language (SMELL).

If with this increased SMELL program the student cannot pass the  required FART, he or she can graduate to middle school by taking a  one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic  Preparation (CRAP).

If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL or CRAP, he or  she will earn a promotion in an intensive one-week seminar.  This is the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students (PRUNES).

It is the opinion of the Texas Department of Public Instruction that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL or CRAP.

President Bush and Vice President Cheney stated that this revised provision the student-testing program should help clear the air.

"If nothing changes -- nothing changes."

Copyright Family Guardian Fellowship

Last revision: April 03, 2009 06:29 AM
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