Eight Step Program for Pacifists
Subject: Eight Step Program for Pacifists

1) Approach the pacifist who is preaching "peace" and saying there should be "no retaliation."

2) Engage subject in brief conversation; ask if military force  is appropriate.
3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"

4) Wait until he says something to the effect of,  "Because that would just cause more violence, which would be awful and we should not do it."

5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.

6) When he gets back up to up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would, "...be awful and he  
should not cause more violence."

7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to commit additional violence.

8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.  Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that sometimes it is necessary to hit back.